Brett Coder

I provide secure telehealth therapy for adults, couples, and polycules across California. I work with people navigating polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, relationship anarchy, and other consensual non-monogamous relationship structures.

I live openly as polyamorous, and I bring a non-pathologizing but honest approach to this work. Polyamory or ENM is not treated as the problem. At the same time, therapy can be a place to look carefully at what is working, what is hurting, what needs repair, and what may need to change.

Common areas of focus include:

• jealousy, insecurity, and “wobbles”
• communication and conflict
• relationship agreements and ruptures
• safer sex boundaries and disclosure
• hierarchy, couple privilege, and secondary-partner pain
• dating while partnered, nested, married, or parenting
• outness, privacy, and visibility
• de-escalation, breakups, and relationship grief
• polycule dynamics and repair
• questions about whether a current structure still fits

My approach is relational, systems-informed, thoughtful, and engaged. I help clients slow down enough to understand what is happening, clarify boundaries, notice patterns, and make more intentional choices. I am not here to push a particular relationship model. The goal is to help you better understand what is true, workable, ethical, and sustainable for your life and relationships.

I also have a focused practice supporting Jewish clients navigating antisemitism, identity, belonging, safety, and community. For clients at the intersection of Jewish life and ENM/polyamory, therapy may also include questions about family, community visibility, religious or cultural belonging, political tension, safety, and what it means to build relationships that are both honest and livable.

I work with adults, couples, and polycules. Sessions are offered by telehealth for clients located anywhere in California.

If you’re looking for therapy with someone who understands polyamory and ENM from both lived and clinical perspectives, you’re welcome to reach out for a free 15-minute consultation to see whether working together feels like a good fit.